


what do girlfriends do?

by teacats



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Season 3 Spoilers, also the very end of season 3 didn't happen because i said so, elmax - Freeform, fake dating au, honestly writing this was like how listening to mitski feels, mike wheeler oppression zone, slight mentions of homophobia, they're both oblivious dumbasses, will byers is gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 07:19:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19807414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacats/pseuds/teacats
Summary: el isn't a jealous type. she knows her worth, and she definitely doesn't need a relationship to feel confident. but sometimes a relationship would be nice, especially when her ex is already dating someone new and throwing her snide looks at every opportunity.enter max, with a fail-proof plan to make mike wheeler the jealous one and dupe hers' and el's friends long enough to get away with it. after all, what can go wrong with a good old fake dating trick?(turns out that a lot can go wrong. especially if the participants may actually like each other. for real.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> "Man, oh man, you're my best friend,  
> I scream it to the nothingness.  
> There ain't nothing that I need."
> 
> (Home)

“He’s going out with someone!” El Hopper unceremoniously banged open Max Mayfield’s bedroom door and slammed it behind her, hand still gripping the handle in a quivering rage. “Dustin told me!”

“What?” the last week’s Batwoman comic slid off Max’s lap as she stood, startled. “Who? When? What happened?”

El threw herself down on Max’s bed in a flurry of anger. “Dustin says Mike asked... Cynthia to go to a movie with him on Saturday, and then get lunch together.”

“Did she say yes?”

“Yes! Dustin says they were holding hands all day! And I don’t even know who Cynthia is!” Burying her face in one of the pillows, El let out a furious scream. 

Max sat down beside her and gave her shoulder a consoling rub. “Aw man, that bites. What do you care though? I thought you were over Mike. You’re way too good for him. And Cynthia is the most boring person I know.” she landed a playful punch on El’s upper arm. She thought that would do the trick, but El just screamed again. 

El emerged from the pillow, face flushed. “I am over him, but I can’t believe he has another girlfriend already! He’s such a- a Mouth Breather!” 

Max sprawled out so that she and El were facing one another. “Mike is absolutely an idiot and the fact that he has a girlfriend again is a complete disaster.” she said. “But Cynthia is a really boring person and you’re so much cooler and better than her.” 

Frustrated, El banged her head against the mattress. “That’s not why I am upset. It just isn’t fair that Mike has a girlfriend again and I’m not dating anyone. I feel stupid.”

“You’re not stupid!” Max grabbed El’s hands and held them tightly. Anger pulsed in her temples, anger at Mike for making El feel this way. “You don’t need a boyfriend. Mike isn’t better than you because he’s dating someone! That’s crazy!”

“I don’t want a boyfriend. I just feel-” El paused, struggling to find the right word. “Pathetic. I don’t want to look like a loser. I dumped Mike, but he is dating again and I’m not.”

Max rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. An idea bloomed in her mind- ridiculous and unrealistic, but still possible. She turned her head to El and squeezed her hand. 

“El.” she said, eyes wide with excitement. “What if we pretended to date? To make Mike jealous and fool everyone?” 

El looked confused. “Pretend to date? What do you mean?”

“I mean that we tell Mike and the others that me and you are girlfriends. And then Mike will be jealous because we’re obviously much cooler than him and Cynthia Carmichael. And nobody will even think that you might be a loser.”

“Me and you… are girlfriends?” 

“Not really. We only pretend to be girlfriends. But really we’re just friends.”

Frowning, El propped herself up on her elbows. “Then we lie?”

“Sort of, yeah.” Max followed suit. 

“Friends don’t lie.”

“But Mike isn’t our friend.”

El considered this. Max lay still, waiting for the verdict, until El’s face broke into a grin. 

“Yes.” she said. “Let’s pretend date.” 

Max grinned. “This is going to be so much fun.”

***

“So how are girlfriends supposed to act?” El asked Max a few days later, as the two rolled down Old Cherry Lane on their way to the arcade- Max on her skateboard, El on her roller skates. “Is it different from boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“A bit, yeah.” Max said, pleased with the air of an expert that she had taken on herself. “Girlfriends don’t fight as much as boyfriend and girlfriend, to start. And girlfriends understand each other better, and they’re nicer to each other.”

They turned a corner. El clung on to Max to avoid veering out of course, still a bit inexperienced with the skates. “How do you know this? Have you had a girlfriend?”

“No!” Max felt her face flush a deep red. “No, never. I’m just imagining what it would be like.”

“Oh. Well, it sounds nice.” 

“Yeah. But some people don’t like it when girls go out with girls or when boys go out with boys.”

“Why?” El furrowed her brows. “Why would they hate it if it’s better than boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“I’m not really sure.” Max thought back on all the things her parents had said about gay people, about the insults her classmates had spewed. She shuddered, trying to shrug off the memories. “But it doesn’t matter. Mike and the others may be dumb, but they’re not like that, right?”

They skated on in silence for a little. 

“If we pretend to be girlfriends, we need to hold hands.” El declared confidently. 

“Right. And we need to hang around together whenever we’re near Mike.” Max added.

“We do those things anyway!” El laughed. “What else do girlfriends do? Me and Mike used to kiss.”

“We don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to.” Max said quickly. 

They turned another corner. El gripped Max’s arm. “Okay.”

***

When Max and El arrived at the arcade, the others were already deep in a heated argument (at least, Mike and Lucas were. Dustin was watching the ongoing conversation with a sort of horrified curiosity, and Will seemed intensely relieved to see the girls arrive).

“All I’m saying is that it seems too soon after breaking up!” Lucas shot at Mike, his tone loud and defensive. “I’m allowed to have an opinion!”

“It’s not too soon! El and I broke up months ago!” Mike yelled back.

“I don’t mean you, I mean Cynthia and Todd! How long has it been, a week?”

“It’s been three, actually! And it’s none of your business!”

Lucas turned, desperately, to Max and El. “Guys, back me up here. It’s weird of Cynthia to start dating Mike less than a month after she broke up with Todd, right?”

“Just drop it, dude.” Will groaned, visibly tired of the entire conversation. “Can we please just go inside?”

“I actually think it’s perfectly okay,” Max told Lucas with an air of superiority. 

“Really?” Lucas looked skeptical. “And what if I started going out someone today even though it’s only been a month since we broke up, you would be okay with that?”

“Of course.” Max smiled. Then, after a moment, she added: “In fact, I’m actually going out with someone new.”

The boys stared at her.

“Is it Dennis Kooley?” Dustin demanded. “If it’s Dennis Kooley I’m never talking to you again. He’s a major asshole.”

“It’s not Dennis Kooley.” 

“It’s me.” El piped up suddenly, stepping forwards and lacing her fingers through Max’s. “Me and Max are girlfriends now.”

The little group went completely silent. Max, taken by surprise but pleased, soaked in the boys’ looks of total shock.

“You and Max… are girlfriends?” Mike repeated slowly. 

“Yes.” El flashed him an angelic smile. “We’ve been dating for-“ Max could see her mental gears turning, “- two weeks.”

Quick thinking on El’s part, she thought. That was longer than Mike and Cynthia, at least. 

“But… but…” Lucas glanced from Max to El, El to Max. 

“Holy shit.” Dustin said softly. 

“But you’re both girls!” Lucas finished. 

Will’s head snapped up.  
“What does that matter?” he asked, almost defensively. The others didn’t seem to notice him.

Splaying his palms across his head, Lucas glanced, distressed, at Mike. “But El, you dated Mike!”

“I like girls and boys.” El said matter-of-factly. 

“Me too.” Max added. “That’s why I dated you, Lucas.” Not quite true, but it’d have to do. 

“Robin’s a lesbian.” Dustin said.

“They’re not lesbians, stupid! They just said they like boys too.”

“I didn’t say they were lesbians, dipshit!”

As Lucas and Dustin argued, Mike, still looking stunned, glanced up at El. “Are you… are you happy?” he asked. His voice was quiet. 

Butterflies erupted in Max’s stomach as El looked over at her and squeezed her hand. 

“Happiest.” El said.

***

“Did you see the looks on their faces?!” Max crowed as the two burst into the Hoppers’ cabin in a whirl of excitement. A sense of triumph hung in the air, making her feel giddy and exhilarated. 

“They looked so stupid!” El laughed, kicking off her sneakers. “Lucas was so confused.”

“And Dustin!” 

They dissolved into giggles again, scrambling through the messy front room to El’s bedroom and shutting the door behind them. 

“We are such criminal masterminds.” Max declared, collapsing on El’s bed. “They didn’t doubt us for a second.”

Another short fit of laughter.

El, cross-legged on the floor, managed to compose herself. “Who is Robin?”

Max frowned at the sudden change of subject. “I think she’s the girl who worked at the ice cream place in Starcourt with Steve. Why?” 

“Do you think she really is a lesbian?”

“I think Dustin’s full of shit, but who knows.”

“Who knows.” El repeated, leaning her back against the wall. 

By the time Hopper came home that evening, Max had already left and returned with a full bag of worn-out comics and magazines (with a set of pajamas and a toothbrush hastily tossed on top). Permission was granted for a sleepover, music was chosen and snacks were stocked. Hopper had to go out again, leaving the house to El and Max. The next few hours were spent filling in dumb personality quizzes from teen magazines (their results were terrible; apparently neither of them had the slightest clue how to flirt), rereading Wonder Woman comics and deciding which of Max’s classmates they would be willing to go out with. Inexplicably, it seemed the options included more girls than boys. 

“I know what we should do.” El said, lying on her back with her head hanging off the side of her bed. “I can find people we know and see what they’re doing, like we did with Mike and Lucas.” 

“But what if they’re doing something really gross?” Max pushed aside her copy of ‘Teen. “Like Mike said once. What if they’re in the bathroom?”

“I can tell what they’re doing from far away.” El assured her. “And if it’s gross I won’t come any closer.”

Max grinned. “Okay then.”

El slid off the bed and retrieved her scarf from the second drawer.

“Here, let me get that for you.” Max took the scarf from her hand and tried it around her head, making sure not to get any hair stuck in the knot. Tongue between her teeth, she brushed a few stray strands out of El’s face and handed her the radio. 

The room filled with the fuzzy noise of static as El fiddled with the knobs of the radio. Finally satisfied, she settled down on the floor and placed the radio before her. “Who should I look for?” 

“Oh, I don’t know. Definitely not the guys again.”

“What about... Hop?” 

“Your dad? Is he doing anything interesting?”

“I don’t know. Let’s find out.” With a sly smile, El placed her hands on the radio and went quiet. Max settled her chin in her hands and watched her, watched her eyelids flicker slightly, the curve of her lips, the slope of her nose, the gentle tilt of her chin. An eyelash had fallen onto the apple of El’s cheek, and Max resisted the urge to lean forward and blow it away.

“I see him.” El said. “I’m coming closer now.” 

Silence, apart from the radio static. 

“He’s talking to someone. He’s dressed… different.”

“What’s he wearing?” Max asked. 

El wrinkled her nose. “Fancy. Ugly shirt.”

“Who do you think he’s talking to?”

Another moment of silence. “Talking to… Joyce Byers?”

“What?” Max sat up, intrigued. “Why is your dad talking to Will’s mom?”

El’s eyebrows furrowed. “He’s laughing. He’s drinking something.”

It dawned on Max all of a sudden. “Holy shit, El.” she leaned forward and tapped El’s shoulder. “I think your dad and Will’s mom are on a date.”

That hit like a bombshell. El tore down her blindfold. “On a date?!”

“Yeah! That’s what it sounds like. Wouldn’t it be funny if they got married and you and Will became siblings?”

“They are not getting married.” El said firmly, and wiped away the drop of blood from her nose. “Let’s find someone else to look for.”

The subject of the conversation was steered sharply away from Hopper and Joyce. Max rested her chin on the top of El’s head and sighed. 

“Try Will.” she suggested. “He won’t be doing anything weird.”

El considered this, deemed it acceptable, and retied the blindfold (Max had to swiftly move her head as El almost smacked it accidentally). Blindly, she fiddled with the radio knobs again until the sound of static became stronger. El folded her hands over the top of the radio and focused. 

“I can see him.” she murmured. “He’s lying in his bed. But he’s not asleep.”

“What’s he doing?”

“I don’t know.” she went quiet for a moment. “He’s just… lying. Sad. He’s getting up. He’s going to- to the bathroom.”

“Ew!” Max said, disgusted. “Get out of there, you don’t want to see that!”

El seemed transfixed. “He’s just splashing water on his face. Saying something.” Her lips mouthed something unintelligible, echoing Will’s words. 

“What’s he saying?” Max leaned closer, as though that would enable her to hear Will herself. “Can you tell?”

“Shut up.” El whispered, and when Max recoiled in indignation, she clarified: “he’s saying shut up.”

“Is he talking to anyone?”

“He’s talking to the mirror.” El’s voice cracked. “Crying.” 

Unsettled, Max shook El’s shoulder. “Stop looking. We shouldn’t be watching him. It’s private.”

El reached back and untied the blindfold, letting it drop to the floor between her back and the bed. A trickle of blood dotted her upper lip, and her eyebrows were knitted together in concern. 

“Do you think Will is okay?” she turned and faced Max. 

“I don’t know.” Max said, truthfully. “I hope so. I mean, he’s been having a hard time recently. Y’know, with Mike being a dick and everyone dumping him behind all the time.”

“Alone.” El said. Max nodded slowly. 

Neither of them really felt like continuing the game or reading anymore. They changed into pajamas and got into El’s bed- they shared the bed, like they always did- without a word between them. Max switched off the light. 

In the darkness, the bedroom became something else entirely. Shadows wavered elegantly in the corners, thrown by moonlight through the curtains. Faint yellow light seeped in through the crack at the bottom of the door. Everything looked grainy, like an old photograph, like a memory. El was warm beside Max under the blanket. Max reached out and sought her hand. 

They fell asleep with El’s head on Max’s shoulder.


	2. Two Meals and Two Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hopper and Will have secrets they're ready to tell El about. There might be a secret of her own that she's not quite sure about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Anytime you need a friend  
> I will be here.  
> You'll never be alone again  
> So don't you fear."
> 
> (Anytime You Need a Friend)

Max had to leave early the next morning because of a family activity she was forced to attend. She tried to go quietly but El woke up as she slipped out from underneath the blanket.

“You’re leaving? What time is it?” El asked, voice fuzzy from sleep. She could barely make out Max’s form beside the bed. 

Max glanced up from the floor, where she was shoving the haphazardly discarded magazines back into her bag. She gave El a small smile and held up a Green Lantern comic book. “It’s seven AM. I’m leaving you this, okay? I’ve read it already and you haven’t.”

“Okay.” El sat up and rubbed her eyes blearily. “You will come back in the afternoon?”

“If I can.” Max zipped her bag shut and hefted the strap over her shoulder. She glowed in the summer morning sunshine, and El had to drag her eyes away from her. 

She slid out of bed and padded over to Max, laying a hand on her upper arm. “Wait. Do you want something to eat before you go?” 

“No thanks, I’m good.” Max smiled. 

El insisted on walking Max out, past the living room where Hopper snored on the couch. They glanced at each other and giggled as quietly as they could. El unlocked the front door and gave Max a quick hug as she swung it open. “See you later.”

“Yeah.” Max squeezed her hand. “See you later.”

She turned and walked down the steps, kicking her skateboard up off the porch as she went. Right before she turned the bed behind a group of trees, Max turned again. She waved. 

“Bye!” El yelled, impulsively. Max called back a reply, but it was too quiet for El to make out. Behind her she could hear Hopper stirring and mumbling in his sleep. 

She stayed standing by the open front door, her feet hot on the sun-warmed wood and the gentle summer breeze in her face, until Hopper dragged himself out of bed and shut it. 

***

Max didn’t come back that afternoon. El called her house and Billy picked up, so she hung up sharply and decided to walk over and call on her at home. Hopper made her promise to return within two hours, but she was back in forty minutes; the house was empty, and the Mayfield-Hargroves had evidently gone out somewhere else. El trudged home grumpy and shut herself in her room, reading the entire Green Lantern comic back to back before she agreed to come out of her room again. 

The afternoon dragged on long and insufferable. The heat felt thicker and more stifling than it had previously, and El felt there was nothing to do- no book seemed interesting, no music was entertaining, and Hopper was hogging the TV. She spent hours flipping aimlessly through magazines and cutting out pictures that caught her fancy: colorful tops, girls she thought looked like Max (she would give them to her tomorrow), animals.

Hopper coerced her out around three PM with burgers and fries. He seemed overly thoughtful and pleasant. That alone should have raised El’s suspicions. Next came the quietness: Hopper didn’t touch any of the food himself. He sat silently and watched as El chowed down. Five bites in she caught on. 

“Why do you stare?” she demanded, putting down her burger. 

Hopper sighed and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his forehead, avoiding El’s gaze. 

“Look, kid,” he stopped to clear his throat too loudly. “I need to talk to you about something.”

El waited. 

“It’s… well, it has to do with…” another cough. “Um, me and Joyce Byers.” 

“I know.” She interrupted, crossing her arms. “You are dating.”

Hopper narrowed his eyes. “Hold on. How do you know that?” 

“I saw you. Through the Upside Down.” 

“You were spying on me?!” Hopper’s voice rose and his face flushed a furious red. “What did we say about spying on other people?”

El scowled, stabbing an accusatory finger in her father’s direction. “Not spying! We were playing a game. And you lied!”

“Oh, really? When, exactly, did I lie to you about me and Joyce?”

“You didn’t tell the truth!” she snapped. “You have to tell me if Joyce is going to be my mama!”

“She’s not going to be your mother, kid, jeez!” Hopper wilted back in his chair and drew a hand over his eyes. He looked tired, more tired than he should have. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, okay? I’m trying. We’re both trying. It’s not easy, you know. For any of us. Including you and Will and Jonathan.”

This change of tone came as a surprise. El softened a little. 

“Does Will know?” she asked. 

“Joyce is telling him today. We thought… maybe we could have dinner together. As a family.”

El cocked her head. “A family? They are not our family.”

“I know, I know.” Hopper leveled his gaze and looked El in the eye. “But it could be nice anyway, right? You and Will are friends, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” 

“All right. Well, Joyce invited us over tonight. We’ll go around six-thirty or so, okay? That’s six three zero.”

“I know what that is.” El said, annoyed. 

“Okay. Okay. Fine.” Hopper let out a frustrated sigh. 

The conversation was clearly over with that. Appetite more or less spoiled, El grabbed a last french and stalked back to her room. 

“That Max is a shitty influence on your attitude, young lady!” Hopper yelled. The slam of El’s door cut him off halfway through the last word. 

***

Hopper insisted they get organized and ready to go over an hour before they had to leave. El, itchy and uncomfortable in dress-up clothes, sat stiffly on the couch and shuffled through her pile of magazine cutouts. 

“Who’s that?” Hopper tapped one of the pictures as he passed by the couch- a snipping of Molly Ringwald as Claire Standish. 

“The Princess.” El said.

“Huh? That from that movie that you begged me to let you go see?” 

“Yes. With Max.” 

“Max.” Hopper harrumphed, struggling with his tie. “Always with Max. She’s a good enough kid though, isn’t she?”

“Yes.” El said. Concern suddenly bloomed in her chest. He wouldn’t make her stop hanging out with Max like he did with Mike, right? She twisted to face Hopper. “She’s very good. She helps me with words. And math. And she gives me her comics.”

Hopper shook his head and chuckled. “Better than Mike, at least, huh? Whatever happened to him?”

“He’s an asshole.” El mumbled. 

“Language.” Hopper warned, but he didn’t seem very angry. In fact, he was in an unnaturally good mood the entire evening, humming to himself as he bustled around the cabin. 

“El, help me out for a second.” he asked. “What kind of flowers do you think women like?”

“Women like flowers?” El asked quizzically. 

“Yeah, of course.” 

“I don’t know what Joyce likes.” She settled back down on the couch, her mind racing. If women liked flowers, maybe Max liked flowers too. She would be really happy if El gave her some. And it would be a good way to thank her for being so nice to El all the time. 

***

Hopper’s good mood plummeted drastically as soon as he and El approached the Byers’ house. 

“Shit.” he muttered to himself. “Shit. Did we forget something?”

“No.” Her dress had no pockets, so El had to swing her arms awkwardly by her sides. 

“This was a bad idea.” 

El grasped the opportunity by the horns. “Yes, we should go home. And we can have Eggos for dinner and-”

“Oh no, you don’t.” El’s urge to leave seemed to just spark Hopper’s determination to stay. “Come on, we’re going inside.” 

They marched right up the front steps. Hopper knocked long and hard on the front door. 

“Oh god, they’re here!” Joyce’s voice, muffled, called out. Footsteps rushed back and forth behind the door. There was a great deal of scuffling. Hopper rocked back and forth on his heels. 

After a few moments, El caved in and unlocked the door herself with a quick jerk of the head.

“Don’t do that!” Hopper hissed, but it was too late and the door creaked open painfully loudly. 

“They won’t mind. They’re busy.” El explained. 

Jonathan Byers, halfway through carrying a pile of school books into the living room, froze as he walked past them. His gaze traveled from the open door to El’s slightly bloody nose. 

“Uh, sorry.” Hopper attempted a smile. “We just let ourselves in.” 

“No problem.” Jonathan said slowly. “Come in.”

El intercepted Hopper before he stepped through the threshold. 

“Everything is okay.” she said firmly. “You need to chill.”

“Chill?” Hopper seemed more bemused than annoyed. 

“It’s slang. Max taught me.”

“She-” he paused. “You know what, you’re right. We both need to chill.” 

El nodded, even though she had to bite back the urge to argue that she was perfectly calm. The two brushed off their clothes and marched into the dining room. It was warm and brightly lit, and Joyce was frantically setting the table as they walked in. She jumped when she saw them.

“Jim! Jane!” Looking slightly frenzied, Joyce leapt forward to give them both a crooked hug. “I’m sorry we’re not quite ready yet… Jane sweetie, I love your dress.”

“It’s Nancy’s.” El said awkwardly. Hopper didn’t have any of Sara’s clothes, and Holly was still too little to wear any of Nancy’s more recent hand-me-downs, so the Wheelers had offered El to take some of Nancy’s old dress-up skirts and dresses. 

“Well, it’s very pretty.” Joyce smiled at her. The, addressing the hallway, she called: “Will! Our guests are here!”

“I’ll be out in a minute!” 

Joyce sighed, rolling her eyes exaggeratedly. “Teens! You know how they are.”

“Oh, yeah.” Hopper agreed. “El shut herself up in her room all day long today. Glared at me all through lunch.”

“I’m still here!” El exclaimed indignantly, furious that Hopper had turned on her after she had just helped him out. “Don’t talk about me!”

Hopper gestured wildly. “See, that’s what I’m talking about!”

Joyce laughed. “Jim, stop being so mean. Jane, why don’t you go say hi to Will and we’ll call you out when we’re ready to leave?”

El had no intention of remaining where the two parents were actively gossiping about her and Will. She shot Hopper one last betrayed glance and stalked down the hallway. 

***

As she passed Jonathan’s room, El accidentally caught his gaze through the open door. 

“Hi.” he said. “Um… how’s your leg?”

Almost forgetting what he was talking about, El had to glance down to remember the thick, wide scar rippling across her right leg. A phantom pain flashed through the flesh as soon as she thought about it. 

“Fine.” she said. 

Jonathan nodded. He looked pretty guilty about the whole emergency surgery incident. 

“It doesn’t hurt.” El offered, which was a lie, but Jonathan wasn’t really her friend. 

He nodded again. There was nothing for either of them to say, so she left it at that and continued to Will’s room. 

The door was closed. El knocked tentatively. “Will?” 

“You can come in.”

She creaked it open and shut it again after her. Will was lying on the bed, his back to the door, in a prim white shirt and black pants. El’s eyes roamed from the movie posters on the wall to the old record player Will had inherited from Jonathan to the neat row of stuffed animals that sat on the windowsill. 

“I like your room.” she said. 

“Thanks.” Will’s voice sounded monotone. El approached the bed hesitantly and sat down on the edge, making sure not to bump into Will as she did. Judging by his reaction, it seemed as though El wasn’t even there. 

“What are you reading?” she asked, not knowing exactly what to say. 

“The Catcher in the Rye.”

El nodded. “Ah.” she had no idea what that meant or what the story was about. 

The attempt at polite conversation ground to a halt. El remained perched awkwardly on Will’s bed, while Will made no sound apart from the occasional flipping of pages. 

“Is it a good book?” she asked finally. 

“No.” Will said. “It sucks. But Jonathan likes it.” 

Then, all of a sudden, he dropped the book on the floor and sat up, turning to El. She started at the sight of his face. His eyes looked almost fearful, and he was frighteningly pale. 

“If I tell you something,” he asked, his voice cracked and raw, “will you promise not to tell anyone?”

Stunned, El nodded. 

“You and Max… you’re really dating?” 

El bit the inside of her cheek. She couldn’t lie to Will. He was her friend, after all, and he was afraid. She knew what it was like to be lied to. 

“Not really.” she said, slowly. “But… almost. I think. We aren’t supposed to be, but I think there’s been an accident.”

Will seemed to me struggling with some internal conflict. His eyes flickered back and forth across the carpet. El, concerned, reached out and brushed his arm. He pulled away. Tears had built up in his eyes. His breaths came short and fast.

“Will, what’s wrong?” El asked, almost scared now. 

His hands twisted into knots in his lap. Raising his head, Will looked her right in the eyes. 

“El,” he said, and each word seemed like an effort to force out, “I’m- I’m gay.”

Silence fell. It took El a few seconds to process this. 

“That means…” the sentence was left dangling. She couldn’t remember the meaning of the word. 

“I like boys.” Will’s voice was hollow and empty. “Surprise.”

Scouring her mind to remember what Max had told her the day she explained the difference between girls and boys and girls and girls and boys and boys, El furrowed her brows. “It doesn’t matter. That’s better than girlfriend and boyfriend, right?”

That did not have the effect she intended. Will shook his head and squeezed his fists tighter around his sheet. 

“It’s not.” he said. A tear escaped his eye and trailed down his cheek. “It’s bad. It’s really bad.”

“It is not bad!” horrified, El scooted closer and laid her hands on top of Will’s. “It’s okay. It can’t be bad if love is good.”

Will made a choking sound somewhere in his throat. “Boys loving boys isn’t good. It’s not normal. It’s- it’s wrong. It makes people beat you up and call you names and want to kill you.”

“Beating people and killing people is wrong and bad and not normal. Loving people is always good.” El insisted. “And you are a good person. And if you are gay it doesn’t change that.”

Letting out a soft sob, Will buried his head in his hands. “I don’t want to be different. I’m so tired of being the weird kid. Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I just like girls like everyone else? It’s not fair!” he banged the mattress with a quivering fist. “It’s not fair!”

“Stop!” El grabbed his fist, startling him. “You’re not the only one who’s different, okay? You’re not the only one. And if that makes you weird then we are both weird, and we can be not normal together. You’re not alone. And you’re not bad.”

She spread her arms and Will accepted her hug, resting his chin on her shoulder. His back shook as he let himself cry for a little longer. “I just don’t want my mom and Jonathan and the others to look at me different.”

“They will always love you.” El closed her eyes, speaking a little to herself and Max along with Will. “And it doesn’t matter who you love. It shouldn’t matter to anyone.”

They stayed like that for a short while, and probably would have stayed for longer had Joyce not suddenly knocked on the door. 

“Will! Jane! Dinner is ready!” 

El and Will broke apart and smiled at each other, both a little red and puffy-eyed. Joyce cracked open the door and peeked in. 

“Hey, are you crying? Is everything okay?” she asked, suddenly worried. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” Will drew a hand across his eyes. “I reached a sad part in my book.”

“Oh. Well, wash up and come on out.” Joyce’s footsteps disappeared down the hall. 

El squeezed Will’s hand, and the two left the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this came out WAY longer than i intended it to, but i just had to keep everything in. it was really fun to write as well so i treated myself  
> also, unfortunately erasing the canon ending of season 3 also meant bringing billy back. it was a choice i had to make for eveyone's wellbeing and emotional stability. sorry

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not a fan of adding notes at the end of fanfics because it always makes me feel like some anime catgirl fan from 2008 signing all her naruto fanfiction with kawaii emojis and actions spelled *like this*, but in this case i will make an exception to clarify that this was supposed to be a one-chapter thing but i got too invested and it got way too long. so there's that. thank you for tolerating this and goodnight


End file.
